These last few weeks have made me wonder if it's better for me to go on permanent hiatus from fanfiction.net. The last few updates to my fanfiction have been received with a lot more negative feedback than I'm used to. Other reviewers told me I could "do better". The last chapter for 100 that I updated was over 10,000 words. 10,559 words to be exact. I sat and wrote that story for over five hours at work, proofed the shit out of it to make it flow, only to be told that it could have been "better and longer". I do apologize, but I am not receiving money for this. It was a one-shot, for fun and enjoyment. It isn't supposed to be the best free novel you've ever read in your entire life. It's supposed to be something you read, have fun with, and that's the end of it. I can't please everyone, I know, and criticism hurts me, but this doesn't even feel like constructive criticism. It just feels like people telling me to dedicate more of my time to writing, as if five-ten hours is not enough... My CTS is getting worse and perhaps that's the reason for my cranky attitude -grumblegrumble-. But when your wrists feel like they're on fire while being stabbed with every word you write, can you blame me?

In any case, I'm done writing for people who dislike my work. I'm going to hang up the hat after Transcending Time is finished, unless things change, I guess. If they don't, after I finished that, everything is going to be dropped. Maybe writing wasn't my calling after all. I just wish I could have discovered this before I wasted seven years of my life on it and trashed my hands doing so.

Going to go ice my wrists now...

Yeah. Summer's finally here. Which means lots and lots of work. Hopefully, while I'm working (making almost nothing, it seems like in this recession) I can also start writing more. People have been making me very sad recently with their borderline offensive reviews. At this point, I'm thinking about hanging my hat up all together and just shouting out "So long!" as I ride off into the sunset...or something cliche like that.

At least I've finally escaped the meningitis riddled halls of my university. We had five cases in the past few months, all on my green and one in my hall. The poor girl who lived a few doors down from me got viral meningitis, which is definitely better than bacterial, but we were all worried about her. At least she's fine now. All those athletics made her strong, I guess, haha. All the kids who got sick are fine, but it's kind of creepy that the cases keep cropping up. Like a zombie infection, or something weird...

A few things to look forward to this summer:
1)Transformers Revenge of the Fallen. Don't judge me. This movie is going to be awesome. I'm actually going to drive about fifty minutes away from my house just to go see it with my friend. We're going to nerd hardcore and I'm totally excited.

2)Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. It will probably suck, but it's been two years since the last movie. Order of the Phoenix was actually decent, so maybe this one won't be bad. Although the book was lame, I have high hopes for the movie. I'm looking forward to it mostly because I'm cosplaying Bill Weasley (who won't be in the movie D:) and my friend is going as Fleur Delacour. We're going to be awesome. And I'm going to have bad ass scars on my face :P

3)Left 4 Dead. I'm going to buy it, for real this time. And kill zombies. All summer long.

4)Sugoicon. Although it's not until October, I'm getting ready for Sugoicon. This means getting the cosplays ready as well as the items for my table that I will (hopefully -crosses fingers-) get. Although I am worried, because my friend firezilla19
wants to do a Sailor Moon cosplay. She says that it's time we did shoujou ai cosplay instead of shounen ai. I definitely like Allen and Lavi better, but maybe the pleated skirts won't be that bad.

5)My novel. Because I'm cheating this year and starting early for NaNoWriMo. NaNoWriMo is always at the worst time: midterms at the beginning and then finals at the end of the month. Then, it's move-out time the last week of November. Fuck this, I'm getting a head start instead of trying to suffer through it like I have for the past three years.

All in all, I hope to accomplish something this summer, even if it isn't what my parents are hoping for. At least I'll be awesome in my own right and perhaps I might finish Bookman like I've been meaning to do for two years now.

Anyways, cheers.

Dhampir72

I'm tired.

Like, really, really tired.

I'm tired of failing. I'm tired of the pain. I'm tired of those self-righteous idiots who call themselves Journalism majors. And I'm tired of my fucking Spanish professor. I'm also tired of the idiots in my dorm who think they have meningitis. You don't have meningitis, so just stop it >.>

This is not a suicide note, trust me.

So, let's go in order, shall we? Failing. It sucks. I recommend not doing it. Except I can't help it. I went from an A to an F in the course of one quarter. How is this possible? See bitchy/whiny part 4, re: my Spanish prof. Hey, you know what, bitch? We don't speak Spanish very well. That's why we're taking Spanish. To learn it. We have questions that she refuses to answer. Her reply? "You should know it." If I fucking knew it, why would I be asking? If I fucking knew it, I would be fluent and I wouldn't have to take your class. Yeah. That's right. Then I wouldn't be failing. But GUESS WHAT >.< Just, fuck my life. Scholarships and loans and Dean's list goes right down the drain, all because my prof LOST half of our work. Then she blamed US for it. Dammit. -kicks something-

Then, there's the pain. Oh, yeah. Not the emotional that I suffer from everyday (under the unfair hand of my Spanish Prof, Senora Bitch) but the actual physical pain. Greatest thing ever, really. The pain has always been in my wrists, but I thought it was just that usual pain that accompanies you for the rest of your life after you break bones several times too many. Oh no. Because then the pain turned into pain with complete numbness below the elbow. You know, the unpleasant kind that makes you feel like someone is repeatedly stabbing you with tiny needles. After a few days of this (with people convinced I had meningitis, which I did not, idiots) I went to the hospital, only to find out that I'm broken. I have carpal tunnel. Carpal tunnel at 18. CTS sucks. Sucks balls. I have to wear these brace things. My stepdad says it makes me look like a boxer. Great, now everyone's going to be too afraid to date me.

Then there are the Journalism majors. Fuck you Journalism majors. I don't mean "Fuck You" to the good journalism majors. I mean "Fuck you" to the bad ones. You can't write, you can't spell, and you have no grasp of the English language. And please, for the love of God, don't go into education. Our children are already stupid enough without you having a hand in that.

And lastly, to the people in my dorm. I love you all. You're great. But you're all hypochondriacs. Just because three people got meningitis on a green far away from us, you are convinced that since you have a sore neck, you're going to die. You're not going to die. Stop knocking on my door and asking if you should go to the hospital. You don't have meningitis. And if you did, why the fuck are you coming to my room at 3am to give it to me?

Oh, and since we're talking about people in my dorm, to my roommate: Please stop sexiling me. It's great that you and your boyfriend fuck like rabbits, but can you do it when I go to work on the weekends? One, it's awkward. Two, it smells. Three, your boyfriend doesn't shower. Four, he's always there even when you're not. Five, I'm sick of him being there when you're not, asking me when you're going to get back. Six: the two of you do not have meningitis, but sometimes I wish that you would so you'd stop fucking. Maybe I'm just bitter because I'll never have anyone. Because of the goddamn braces on my hands that make me look like a boxer.

Dammit.

Fuck my life.

However, my life isn't as bad as some people.

Go to fmylife.com and enjoy yourself.

So Ohayocon was a lot of fun. Really exhausting, but fun. It was probably better than last year, even though I think I did waaaaay more last Ohayocon. However, I think I was a bit busy being followed and having my picture taken. Not to mention eating. I ate a lot, which was a good thing, because the last time I went, I forgot to eat. That Sunday was not fun, when I was dehydrated and tired, dry heaving in the bathroom and whatnot. At least this time, I was just sort of falling asleep when I was walking, which was just what everyone else was doing, so I didn't feel so bad.

But it was super fun! We made lots of new friends and had our pictures taken by a bunch of people. I'll upload the D.Gray-Man shots once I pull them off my camera. So instead, here are a few pictures from Friday. Because I'm feeling ego-centric and this is my journal and whatnot, they're all pictures of meeeeee! I was Ciel Phantomhive from Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler). Unfortunately, my Sebastian wasn't there, but she'll be there for Anime Punch, which I'm looking forward to as well.



I think the outfit came out pretty well, considering the fact I started it two weeks before the con and made it in my dorm room. There wasn't room for a sewing machine, so a lot of it was improvised and stuff.



Everyone loved that hat. Let me tell you something about that hat. Oh my God, it's out of proportion. That thing is so huge on my head XDD But apparently it looked really good because people were like "ZOMG! YOUR HAT!" so...yeah. I made it out of a spare plastic pot that my roommate and I kept our plant in (then it died, so it was just kind of there, not being used). That's the base and the brim is made out of cardboard from an instant lunch meal and some note cards from my roommate's PBIO class. It came out nifty, though, which was what I was aiming for, even it if is slightly crooked.



The sad thing was that no one knew who I was. There were a few people who when they saw me were like "Can I touch you?" so I let them. I just liked the hugs and the fact that someone at least knew who the character was. So it means I sort of did a good job, right? XDD



I was unsure of the hair color for Ciel, so I used my friend firezilla19
's Haine wig. That thing is magical. When I painted my eyebrows and wore it, it was like pure magic. Everyone thought I was Asian, which was sweet.



People kept asking me about the bow, which was really made from some cardboard and then just modified with the train and ribbon. It kept getting stuck on things, which made me sad, but my safety pins held up on that one, making me not cry like a stupid :)

What did make me cry like a stupid was when I got back to college and realized, "OH SHIT MIDTERMS". Yeah. That was like a slap in the face...more to come when I'm not struggling under the weight of so much shit...

Love and peace, peeps.
Dhampir72

Okay, so I'm going into my fourth week being sick. This is starting to get a bit ridiculous. I mean, I've done everything to get rid of this illness: everything from antibiotics to nearly lethal doses of Nyquil. And still, I'm sick >.> This is just lame. And being a radio DJ doesn't help. I've sounded like DJ Death on the air when I've actually been able to talk (two weeks I had to take off--two whole fucking weeks--for this stupid cold) and it's icky.

But even so, I've been getting by. You know, finishing school up for the quarter (Dean's list, bitches :D) Thanksgiving (in which I think I coughed a lot on that turkey...hope no one else gets this...) and now Christmas. Christmas is going to be...well, sad. Being poor does that to you sometimes. It's lame working two jobs and still being broke. Ah, well.

Mom says we can't put up a tree this year because she's too depressed again, so no tree for us. She's all "What's the point when we can't put presents under it anyway?". I tried to tell her that it's just tradition to have a tree and she shouldn't feel sad if there's no gifts under there, but she's adamant about it so I'll comply with her wishes this once. But while she's at work this week, she'll be in for a big surprise on the weekend when she comes home and finds the place decorated in holiday style. She only said no tree, leaving the rest of the house up for grabs, muhahahaha. Besides, I've been stowing some cash away for gifts, so there will be presents, she just doesn't know it yet :D

On the upside (or perhaps downside) I went and saw Twilight. Let's just say...no, there's too much to say about that horrible movie. Key and I went the day after it came out. There were a bunch of tweens in the audience who were all wearing Twilight shirts with horrible quotes and Robert Pattinson's face on them. As if that wasn't lulzy enough, the movie was so bad it was laughable. Actually, the main characters were bad. No, scratch that, Bella was bad. Whatever her name is can't act and it hurt me inside. So, during the scenes between Bella and Edward, Key and I laughed (especially at their make-out scene, which was HILarious) so loud we were nearly thrown out. The supporting cast was excellent, however. You see, in the books, every girl wants to get in bed with Edward, because he's perfect. In the movie, Key and I wanted to get into bed with random characters like Mike, Eric, Jasper, and Carlisle (Zomg, Carlisle, plz marry me, kthnx). Yeah...I lost my train of thought thinking of him naked, sorry guys.

So in summary: still sick, hate work, sad Christmas, and lol at Twilight. That's about it.

P.S. NaNoWriMo, why do you always have to fall right during finals time? It's always at finals time. Always when I'm busy and sick and have FINALS. Yeah. Yeah, you know you do it on purpose. But just wait! I will write a novel...someday...Yeah! So...suck on that! -Nyquil induced ramble-

So, I've been working on this collection right now of Lavi/Allen fanfiction based off the 100Themes Challenge on Deviantart. That's right: 100 chapters of different Lavi/Allen fics ranging from the actual DGM storyline to longer AU stories. I was just posting to say that I'm 1/10 complete and the first ten stories can be read on Fanfiction.net.

Story information under the cut.

( This way for some Lavi/Allen goodness... )

So some friends and I just got back from Matsuricon and we took some cosplay pictures! Some are LaviAllen, others are KandaLavi and some are Yullen -dies- But they're all very pretty and you can see them here...

( Warning, Image Heavy )

Thanks to cykotyks for my new moodthemes :D

So, I'm not really sure how to do a lot of stuff on LJ, but today I'm trying!

( Follow the cut... )

This is a test

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